Mind Game
by Iriana
Summary: When Carter woke up one day to find herself married with kids, it's only the start of what appears to be a very long week. JS. WIP. Chapter III is ready to read.
1. I

Disclaimer: Unfortunately nothing of Stargate: SG-1 belongs to me; despite asking for the rights for my birthday.

A/N: There may be minor spoilers to episodes along the way and they will be added as each comes up. The story is set toward the end of season four after "Entity".

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**Mind Game**

**I**

The mission had started out so well for SG-1. They had arrived on P8X 429 during the planets nightfall and despite the hour, the area surrounding the Stargate was crowded. Lanterns hung around it in a wide circle and the cobbled path that led to the town was alight on either side with fiery torches. The natives danced and cheered; a few sang an unfamiliar tune in an off key note. The whole affair brought visions of some Chinese New Year celebration, minus the dragon. The people wore painted masks, only wide smiles visible beneath.

They had jumped back and scattered as SG-1 emerged from the 'gate and masks were discarded to show expressions of surprise and wonder at their unexpected appearance. Fortunately no one took their arrival as some bad omen, and they weren't captured then thrown into the nearest cell. That came later.

They were welcomed with open arms and tankards of the native hooch were thrust into their hands. The team politely declined – from the inebriated looks of some of the inhabitants, the stuff was quite potent.

Naturally things had to go down hill from there; not even Daniel's diplomatic skills had been able to help them. Instead they had been thrown into damp and disgustingly smelly cells until their imminent escape. Time had been running out and it prompted the team to become creative. By the stroke of luck that always seemed to save SG-1 eventually, they had made it to the Stargate and eventually home after a long and arduous chase.

But the sounds of screaming, and faces whitened with absolute terror still woke them at night, jolting each member from a fitful sleep…

Blue eyes snapped open and immediately took in the dim surroundings. The bed that Major Carter was lying on was soft and comfortable; blankets covered the lower half of her body and – more surprisingly – an arm was that was not hers, was draped across her waist. The screams resonating inside her head gave way to squeals of delight from somewhere nearby. The USAF major frowned and confusion took up residence on her face. From her horizontal position she took in the ceiling: The light was on its lowest setting and cast the room in an amber glow, luminous stars had been stuck haphazardly to it. If she craned her neck to the left just a little, she could just about make out someone's attempt at recreating Orion.

But the décor of the room really wasn't what had her interest at the moment. Carter wanted to know who was invading her bed. Well not **her** bed, exactly. She had no clue whose home she was currently in. At the very least, the owner of the arm was invading her personal space. She gingerly reached across to push aside the blanket in order to, theoretically, slip out of the bed without waking her mysterious companion. No such luck. Carter managed to edge a few centimetres to the edge before the arm shifted position; the man pulled her closer and tighter before muttering something incoherent.

Now, under normal circumstances Carter would have acted a lot faster – perhaps jumped out of the bed and confronted the man before demanding, in no uncertain terms, that it was in his best interests to leave. But these were not normal circumstances. She was not drunk, or at least she didn't recall getting drunk the night before. She couldn't detect the smell of alcohol so that was a start. Even if she had been inebriated, Carter wouldn't have jumped into bed with just anyone. Unable to turn around and identify the man's face without waking him, she studied the arm instead.

Strangely enough this was actually rather… comfortable. Her gaze switched to the watch that the man wore. She knew that watch. Ignoring the fact that he would undoubtedly wake at such an abrupt action, Carter quickly twisted around in the bed.

Brown eyes met hers and a sleepy smiled stretched Jack O'Neill's mouth. If he noticed her shock he made no mention of it. And instead of having the same gob smacked reaction as his 2IC – namely _what the heck is going on? _He greeted her with a, "Mornin' sleepyhead."

Her mouth dropped open in a perfect 'o' and likely did a wonderful impression of a fish. Words, however, completely escaped her. And for Sam Carter, things were about to become a lot more confusing. The squeals she had detected earlier were joined by the sound of stampeding feet and then the slamming of the bedroom door as it was pushed open. Eventually Carter got a word out; and it wasn't particularly articulate. "Huh?"

This dumbfounded expression merely caused her CO to flash a crooked grin which, admittedly, was really rather adorable. Evidently he guessed her lack of ability to form a coherent sentence was due to tiredness. "We promised the kids we'd take them to the park today."

And though it was physiologically impossible, her heart made a valiant attempt at jumping into her mouth. Carter's eyes widened; her utter confusion only grew as two small figures leapt onto the bed and started to bounce up and down.

"Wake up!" a young girls voice urged. Brown hair flew every which way and two inquisitive blue eyes regarded the couple with expectation.

Jack mistook Carter's expression completely. "You forgot, didn't you?" He feigned a stern look and moved his arm from across her waist to waggle his finger, "Your head is still at the SGC."

The little girl flopped to her knees, a little out of breath at becoming so exuberant so early in the morning. "Please…" she insisted, drawing out the word. Jack pushed himself into a sitting position and gently grabbed the seven-year-old around the waist to pull her into a hug, the action elicited another squeal.

The second child stopped using the bed as a trampoline and quickly took up the warm spot his father had vacated. The four-year-old lifted Sam's arm and snuggled underneath it. Cheeky brown eyes studied her and an eager grin that reminded her so much of the colonel, lit up his little face. "Can we go to the park now?" he whispered.

This was a lot to take in at 07h15 in the morning. Heck – it was a lot to take in at **any** time. Her heart seemed to return to its rightful place, but was now beating so hard and fast it was painful. Despite her confusion at this curious familial display, Carter was loath to move. A headache was starting to form in the side of her head and she closed her eyes against it. It was then that memories flooded her mind: She and Jack taking their daughter to her first day of school; Cassandra playing with their youngest child, both bent over a jigsaw puzzle of the star system. And Jack holding her hand as she was wheeled into the theatre after an accident a short time ago.

The latter memory was less pleasing, and it did nothing to deter her heart from pounding.

She did become less confused though. Jack and the little girl had stopped their playing and were now watching her with matching expressions of concern. "Another headache?" Jack queried and reached out to massage her temple. "Doc Frasier said the tablets'll take time to work. Did you remember anything else?"

Carter developed the peculiar feeling that he had asked this question before, and in a way the conversation **was** familiar. She found herself nodding in response. "Yeah…ah…" she wracked her brain to come up with a name but nothing came to her immediately. "We were taking you," Sam smiled almost proudly as she indicated the little girl – her little girl, "To school." That thought brought on a case of the fuzzies. "It was your first day." This brought a gap toothed smile from the child, and it couldn't help but make Sam adore her.

Jack was less convinced. "If you really want to go to the park – you'll have to get dressed," He instructed. The siblings quickly jumped off the big bed and charged down the hall to their rooms. His turned his gaze to Sam and smiled reassuringly, but the expression was tinged with sadness. "We're not going to stop trying until you remember everything." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, "I promise."

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_Reviews are always welcome. Feed me._

_And before I forget again, care for a little audience participation? I need two names for the little ones, send them in!_


	2. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

Thank you to everyone that's taken the time to read and review so far. I was hoping for, perhaps, 3 or 4 reviews – getting 21 in the first chapter is a wonderful response!

sg1jo: I had that movie in my head when I was editing, but couldn't recall the title. Thanks for the reminder.

Ilovesg1: Bits and pieces about the natives and the mission at the beginning of the chapter will be revealed gradually… ;)

I have started writing the next chapter and it should be up tomorrow.


	3. Authors Note II

**Authors Note II

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I bet you never thought February was so far away! Lack of inspiration put a definite wrench in the works when writing this fanfic, but I am continuing it now. Look for an update in the next few days.**

And thank you to everyone who submitted a name.


	4. II

**Chapter II

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A staff blast connected with a tree closest to the fleeing SG-1, causing Daniel to dodge out of the way as burnt chips of bark flew into the smoke tinged air. He jumped over the tree roots that jutted out of the ground and landed ankle deep into a muddy puddle. The dirt splashed all over him but by now it was simply fresh muck on top of old. Each of his team mates wore matching expressions of fatigue, and through the grime that lined their faces was barely concealed concern. This situation was bad; not as much as some of their other near misses, but pretty damn close. The Archaeologist clambered tiredly over a downed tree and forced his tired and aching limbs to move just one more inch.

He slid down the trunk and landed heavily in yet more mud. He could feel his eyelids start to close; and then Carter's cold hands as she pressed them to his face, urging him to stay awake…

Jack snapped his fingers in front of Sam's face to recapture her attention. A distinct look had appeared in her eyes and he knew she hadn't heard a word of the conversation going on. Clarity returned to her vision and she locked on the colonel's face, noting the worried expression he wore. Carter smiled reassuringly but the worry didn't leave his face. "What did you see?"

"Things I want to forget," Carter replied truthfully. The answer would have to suffice because she did not want to revisit that memory.

"Mackenzie said it would help to talk through what you remember," Jack intoned in an attempt at encouraging her to speak. It was likely a losing battle; she was as stubborn as he when she really put her mind to it. If she didn't want to answer, Sam wasn't going to. And he couldn't order her to either, not anymore.

"I just need to figure things out in my head first," Sam smiled disarmingly and patted his hand. Yeah, she had him now…no way was he going to push the matter!

"I know what you're trying to do," he remarked but wasn't able to stop the smile that was creeping onto his face. "And right now it's working." He paused for a few seconds to study her. A flicker of fear clutched at him at the mere thought of almost losing her again. It didn't show in his face but Carter could tell; his concern, his love for her made her heart race. "Kids are ready," he pointed out as a sound akin to a stampeding baby elephant could be heard on the floor above.

She turned in time to see the two siblings burst into the kitchen. Their names popped into her head as if they had never disappeared in the first place. Elizabeth Grace and Benjamin Jacob ran forward, coats in hand and their faces expectant. "Who are you running from?" Sam asked, indulging them for a moment as she finished the coffee Jack had made ten minutes earlier. It was lukewarm by now but she just felt so tired and needed the caffeine to give her a much needed boost.

Jack noticed the weariness but refrained from commenting on it. Their kids were just getting used to their mom being back, without serious conversation intruding on their happy time.

"We're running **to **the park," Elizabeth corrected with a child-like expression of seriousness on her face. The enthusiasm returned mere seconds later and she grabbed one of Sam's hands to pull her out of her chair, and jumped up and down with boundless energy. "Let's go now!" When neither parent moved to do that, a pout formed.

Seeing his older sister fail in her attempts, little Benjamin tried the same. No one could possible refuse his cuteness! He grabbed both Jack's hands and pumped his arm up and down insistently in a vigorous handshake. "We want to go to the park," he quietly insisted. "Before you work we have to play…" he looked very hopeful.

Their need for fun prompted Jack to get out of his chair and he picked up the little boy, exaggeratedly huffing in the process. "You're getting big. You know, pretty soon you're going to be taking **me **to different places."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and nudged her father with an elbow as Sam slipped the youngsters coat on. "Silly daddy," she snickered.

Though Sam only vaguely remembered getting the kids ready to go to the park or the zoo or swimming pool before today, the process came naturally to her and it brought a strange mix of strangeness and familiarity to her. She shook it off, determined not to spoil the day with a weird attitude. The exuberant children certainly helped; they demanded attention and right now were giving little opportunity for introspection. She pulled Elizabeth's gloves out of her the young girls coat pocket, despite the immediate protests that they weren't needed. It was a chilly day, so much like one Carter remembered from some time before, but the memory slipped away before she could get a firm grip on it.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked softly, seeing the beginnings of the faraway look that had become so hauntingly familiar.

Carter smiled encouragingly for his benefit, and the children's. "I'm ready to go to the park!" The announcement, as expected, elicited a delightful cheer.

"What do you say, kiddo…is it too cold for ice cream?" Jack's attention turned to Benjamin as he pulled on his gloves.

His eyes glowed at the thought of his favourite treat in the whole world and he nodded straight away. "I want ice cream," he grinned before adding a few seconds later. "Please." Manners couldn't be forgotten; Aunt Janet told the kids that. Whenever they remembered theirs she gave them sweets.

As the group headed out into the hallway, Elizabeth reminded them both that **she **would also like an ice cream too. Chocolate mint chip, thank you very much! Benjamin reminded Jack and Sam that his preference was black cherry, as a scarf was wrapped around his neck to keep the heat in. He was perfectly warm and snug as he stepped out into the cool morning. It was the perfect weather to jump into the fallen leaves and try to catch them as they floated in their air, which is just what he proceeded to do as he waited for his parents to yank on their coats and hurry up. After a quick search for the car keys, the kids were bundled into the car and they headed off to the park. It was Wednesday, and Friday was swimming pool day, Sunday was zoo day when they got to take a big long drive. Monday was "secret place" day, when their parents went back to work and Benjamin got to spend the day while Elizabeth was at school. He loved that day; because his mom and dad did really neat stuff like experimenting with weird technology or play on a Gameboy while avoiding paperwork. Life, to the kids, was perfectly grand and they couldn't possibly know that it wouldn't always be that way.

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"So…" Janet began to say as she closed the file she had been browsing, and turned her full attention onto Sam. "Colonel O'Neill said you had been remembering some things again…" she let the comment linger, expecting Carter to pick up the thread and continue. 

She wasn't to be disappointed, but a vaguely exasperated sigh escaped before the colonel actually spoke. "Oh he did," Carter stated rather than asked, not that she was too surprised by the revelation.

Despite being married and with two children no less, some sense of formality remained at work. For instance, they were hardly going to get frisky in the locker room when in the Mountain as it was unprofessional. But nor was it expected that they would go back to the too formal, "Sir" and "Carter" except when visitors – alien or otherwise – were on base, or they were off world. It was a fine line between what was acceptable and what wasn't, but what they had come up with worked well for them and everybody concerned.

"Well Colonel O'Neill didn't have to say anything," Carter continued in a mildly frustrated tone. She ran a hand across her face, evidence at least in part of the lingering tiredness.

Naturally Janet was concerned and she didn't hold back. She was the bases CMO, and Sam's friend; this was her job. "Are you still having trouble sleeping?" she queried.

Carter knew what she meant – the typical bouts of insomnia didn't apply here, there was a deeper rooted problem. Memories bordering on nightmares were the norm. That didn't stop her from, typically, downplaying the problem. "Actually things're getting better," she gave a weak little smile.

Naturally Janet didn't believe that for a second. "Right," she remarked before bluntly, but kindly adding, "Sam…those bags under your eyes tell a different story. I can't help you if you don't talk to me." From the tone of her voice it was loud and clear that this was something Janet had pointed out before. She understood, truly – Sam didn't want to have to spend a couple of nights, or more, in the infirmary whilst her friend catalogued specific times, lengths, and how bad the nightmarish memories were. She paused hesitantly before questioning far more carefully this time, "Can you still hear --?"

"No," Sam cut her off before the petite doctor could even finish off her question. "Janet, I promise, I'm **just **having trouble sleeping." So this was a lie, but in the long run it was better that they believed she was fine. She was protecting them from the truth, and it wasn't endangering anyone. It was just difficult; being unable to explain what was going on in her head. The feeling was reminiscent of when she knew the alien Orlin inhabited her home, before she had actually seen him, and nobody had believed her – instead they had looked at her as though she were on the brink of madness, and Carter couldn't stand it.

The voice was still there, in the back of her head, she could feel it as though it were some physical entity weeding its way through her mind sucking out information. But that wasn't possible and the thought was forcibly pushed back into the place where she didn't have to acknowledge it. But the sense of intrusion remained, and Carter was afraid. Afraid that she was slowly losing her mind, and no attempt at bringing back sanity would help.

"Really," Carter finished as she pushed back her chair. "I'm fine."

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So...finally an update! I hope you're still reading -- and enjoying. More soon to come. 


	5. III

**Chapter III

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By the time Carter had left Janet's office half an hour later, she had calmed down that little bit more. But it clearly wasn't enough because Jack was still able to detect that something wasn't quite right, when they met up in the commissary later on that day. They were able to talk in relative privacy; a vast majority of the base personnel would only come in to grab a bite to eat in an hour's time, and some even later as they finally found time to get their nose out of whatever book, artefact or wondrous piece of technology they were currently investigating.

As it was people tended to give them space anyway, as they had always done back in the early years after SG-1 were thrown together. Everyone still gossiped, of course, but it had died down somewhat – the will they or won't they had, obviously, died down once they **had **become an item.

They only problem for Sam was…she just couldn't recall how exactly that had happened. It was hurtful, for Jack though he fully understood, and herself, and it was embarrassing too. Even Doctor Adams knew the story, and he had only arrived a couple of months ago! The lack of compete memory recall meant that, whenever they were out and about or at some gathering or other, there was a guarded look in Carter's face. She never knew when someone would ask a question she truly couldn't answer, and she would be unable to give an explanation for her memory loss too – it was classified.

That guarded look was in her eyes now, Jack saw, and he knew exactly why. It didn't take a genius to put together why: Jack had gone to Janet and blabbed, Sam had then gone to Janet to talk, and now enter one annoyed Major Samantha Carter. There were others signs too, the way her jaw tensed as she gritted her teeth – no doubt because she was wondering exactly how to tell him to stop worrying so much -- the way her shoulders were squared and the relaxed posture she usually adopted when on base was gone.

He knew she wouldn't start a debate on the pros and cons of spilling what had happened to Janet while they were at work, not matter how frustrated she was as a result of it. Deep down Carter knew he had done it because he was worried, but still. Now, if she was going to talk to him about it, it would happen off base. In the mountain they were professional, at home they were husband and wife and there would be no pulling of rank. Damn it. Carter would do the exact same thing, were their places reversed, but pulling that reason out of his hat would only get Jack so far.

What was it that people said about living **and **working together? Jack couldn't remember. He would be better leaving the metaphors to Daniel, or Teal'c; the big guy had compiled a mental list of quite a number of those Earth sayings.

Sam grabbed a tray and a bowl of blue jello before heading over to his table; their table, SG-1's table.

"So, how'd it go with Doc Fraiser?" Jack asked carefully. He eyed her over the rim of his coffee cup, trying to judge exactly how the conversation was going to go.

It wasn't just that he had gone to Janet, their mutual friend and doctor; it was that whenever he did she was put in the middle. It wasn't fair, but what else could he do? Were he to go to MacKenzie with his concerns Sam would be angry and uncomfortable. And the same applied with Daniel or Teal'c, as friends and careful listeners they would always be in the middle.

She speared her jello with her spoon a couple of times before glancing up at him. Carter was well aware he was testing the waters, so to speak. Now the big decision was…make it hard on him or go easy? The thing was, Sam knew she **would **have done the same were Jack the one who was acting strange, and so it would be hypocritical to take the moral high ground. With that in mind she stopped trying to beat her food into a gelatinous pulp and sat back in her seat.

"It was fine," Carter responded.

It was the typical answer, and one Jack had heard many, many times before from countless other people who had worked under his command. But as he watched her, studied her as she concentrated on her jello, he knew she was speaking in half-truths. It meant she was holding something back in order to protect the people she loved. It made his stomach flop. What could be so bad that she wouldn't…couldn't…talk to him about it?

"That's good, Sam," he gave a smile but it was forced. As he tried to conjure up some conversation that would stop them being so ill at ease, Sam spoke again. Her tone was light and nonchalant, but it still made him grown. "So I hear you talked to Janet."

"Yeah…" Jack let the word drag out for a few seconds as Sam waited expectantly. "About that --."

"You don't need to be concerned," Sam cut in. Another lie but Jack let it slide, for now.

He smiled again, less forced, if only to ease the tension. She was expectant, waiting for him to prod that little bit more. "That's what I like to hear," he responded cheerfully enough. And just like that he saw the tension ease, and Sam relaxed completely.

Jack was well aware it wasn't a problem with trust that stopped his wife from being forthcoming, but it still hurt. They had gotten past that stage where some things they just couldn't talk about, they had made a pact to air any problems, just like years ago they had make a pact to keep their feelings in the room. Things had changed since then, and it seemed something was changing again. He knew it wasn't for the better.

Maybe he could get Daniel to talk to her. Their love of things geeky meant that they could talk easier sometimes. There was some other understanding there that at one time Jack just hadn't gotten. The archaeologist was just able to connect in a way that the colonel and Teal'c couldn't; the younger man could walk into a new and unknown situation and, after a short talk with strangers, just know what to say or do to remedy a problem.

Jack needed that skill right now. Whether a Daniel Jackson intervention would work **now** was another question entirely. Carter still felt guilty over events she had had no control over, and it was eating her up inside. She may not have been able to remember key points, but the feelings still lingered to stop her from talking, getting help. And then, for once, it appeared the Universe was not conspiring to make Jack O'Neill's life difficult.

Daniel waltzed on into the commissary. There was an almost faraway, glazed look in his eyes, so it was likely the archaeologist was contemplating the history of some utterly fascinating rock. Since the team was on downtime Daniel had been rooting through the myriad of old and downright ancient items in his collection of valuable junk. He hardly came up for air and, most of the time; it was one of his team mates who reminded them that there was a world beyond his office door. Jack didn't care what had brought his friend out of the office, he was just glad for the impeccable timing.

Daniel may have appeared to be out of it but he still zoned in on their table, his concentration on a thinner than usual tome. "Morning, guys," he greeted without looking up. A stranger may have taken it for rudeness, but it was just completely Daniel. He was intent on looking for something in what was probably a book on an ancient and lost civilisation, even more likely was an SG team had recently returned to Earth with proof that said civilisation was thriving on another world. It was groundbreaking stuff…to people who weren't Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"Its afternoon," Jack deadpanned.

At least this caught Daniel's attention, if only for a few minutes. He quickly scanned the commissary in a fleeting search for a clock before instead inclining his head to catch the time on Jack's watch. "So it is," he replied in bemusement. He finally closed his thoroughly riveting book. "It only feels like I've been working for a few hours. This find is amazing! SG-8 arrived back from P4X-982 early yesterday and --."

"Ah! No work talk at the dinner table, Daniel. Especially when the conversation includes rocks or techno babble." Daniel looked ready to argue his corner but Jack held up a hand for quiet. Usually he might let the archaeologist babble on for a while, but right now he needed the younger man to concentrate.

Fortunately it didn't take long for normal thought to kick in. "So I walked in on something, didn't I?" Daniel queried nonchalantly. It was only a half question really, and he left the comment open to be answered or not. Either way was fine with him because he wasn't prying, in any sense of the word.

"What makes you think that?" Sam asked innocently. She should have guessed someone would catch on that she was frustrated about something; if it wasn't Jack or Daniel then it would definitely have been Teal'c.

"It's "talk" day, Sam," he pointed out. "There's always something wrong after Janet makes you spill your guts." He looked apologetic, maybe even because he had brought it up again – but, in the end, Janet had encouraged all of them to get her to speak. The last time Carter had fallen silent because of a traumatic event had been years ago, after Jolinar.

Now they knew how to handle things better.

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**Author's Note:** It's a little later than I would have liked, but I wanted to write more dialogue. I decided to finish the chapter there rather than include half-hearted dialogue that wouldn't gel well with the rest - but there will be actual conversations next chapter!


End file.
